I am sure we have all been told “you need to have boundaries.” So.. what exactly are boundaries?
Boundaries are defined as the practice of openly communicating and asserting personal values.
Boundaries can be emotional, physical, or even digital. They are extremely important to have in relationships. If you know your boundaries before entering a situation, it can help to avoid future conflict or confusion.
Growing up Italian-American, family is very important but the closeness and over-bearing(but loving) nature can become very overwhelming. Nothing is private at times, which can be very frustrating. You can set healthy boundaries and say “no” without hurting someone’s feelings.
As women, we feel like we have to do everything and take care of everyone whenever they need us(I know I have been guilty of this in friendships and past relationships) and we feel bad or guilty for saying no.
Knowing ourselves/ our values doesn’t make us a bad person. It means we have self-love and respect and want to be treated a certain way. We also should try to respect other people’s boundaries as well and not take them personally.
I recently connected with a new therapist and quickly realized that this is an area I realized I truly want to work on. When we are too giving and forgiving, people can take advantage of that. We must know our limits and when something is truly not okay or acceptable, we have to be assertive and remember that it’s okay to say no.
This also applies to not wanting to go out if you aren’t up to it to take care of yourself or to do nothing at all. It is okay and doesn’t make us selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be able to function at our very best and will feel burnt out.
Something I have also been doing is putting my phone on work mode when I am working and do not distrub when I am out or just want to be to myself. With cell phones and social media, we are accesisble and available all the time. Sometimes we need to de-plug and live in the moment away from our phones/social media. It is very healthy.
I hope this helped. Please comment, subscribe, and share with a friend or family member( as a subtle hint that you need your space) lol thanks always for the support warriors xoxo