Don’t let your past trick you into thinking you are your past and that it is who you will become— because it’s not.
I’ll admit, your environment growing up has a lot to do with who you are now as an adult. It can shape everything. How you see life, your beliefs, and your views. It not only can affect your relationship with yourself but your relationship with others too. Not one of us on this earth has asked to be born, but we are here.
We didn’t ask to be brought into the family we were brought into, but it is so. If you’re like me, you may have been brought up in an unhappy, unhealthy, abusive home. Or maybe you were someone who was raised in a wonderful home. Everyone is different. But does our childhoods mean we have to become what we’ve seen or been around? Absolutely not.
I’m sure many of us including myself, are working on ourselves to become better, to break free of old patterns, and so on and so forth. But that’s just that. That’s the thing. Many of us forget. It’s a heavy PATTERN. It doesn’t mean that that is who you are or who you will become. You just need to focus, turn within and do the work. Though it can be very hard, it’s doable. I’ve done it my whole life. So let me tell you a little bit about that.
I grew up in a very unhappy home. My mother was in a toxic, abusive relationship that could never break free from. It’s not that she didn’t want to. She literally was controlled and eventually brainwashed. Abusive relationships are no joke. I’ve never been IN one but I had to sit in the middle of one my whole entire life until I got my own place. I didn’t pick up on it, but it started when I was 7 years old.
It’s a strange situation, but my father was a dead-beat father—living in the home to terrorize, control, and abuse my mother. So, I played “The Sims” often when I was young to handle my neglect and loneliness and to tune out the arguing. Sometimes it didn’t work. But, I went to that computer game to create the happy family home I always wished for and wanted to live in. Often I’d even play the game and sit there and cry.
Fast forward to the older I became, while I still played the Sims ever so often, I started to wonder why I felt this way. Why did my father do this to my mother? Why did I feel lonely and neglected? What was going on inside of their brain that they were doing this? What was going on mentally? I started doing home research and learned more and more. Though through all of this, I was dealing with a lot of mental and emotional pain, eventually I went as deep as taking psychology classes to learn more and help myself along with my mother.
Eventually, I couldn’t save my mother, which will soon be told through my book. But, I did save myself. I saved myself by focusing, doing the work, and making a vow to myself to not become like the angry, bitter, hurt, and more that was around me. I did everything in the world to avoid that and work on myself. And I kept on. I could have been anything. I could have turned into a hateful, abusive person such as what my father put my mother through. But I didn’t turn into that. I worked on myself, and I chose love.
Choose love forever. You’ve got to love yourself enough, do the work and follow what’s in your heart. Stay focused by tuning out the noise and love yourself enough to treat yourself right, so that you can also treat others with love, respect, and kindness. I told myself at a young age I would one day have a family and, in my family, and household there will be nothing but love there. And so, it shall be! You get to be the creator of your life, not your past experiences.
You are not your past. Just focus on the bad habit patterns you find yourself clinging to, and do the inner work. Everything starts from within. You’ve got to start somewhere. Make it happen! Live a life of LOVE <3
Thank you so much Josie for contributing to my blog <3 We met in nursery school and re-connected through Facebook years later. I am very proud of her and the wonderful woman that she has become. Please be sure to comment, support, and share this post! Follow/support her on Instagram for more + a bunch of positivity! @peacelovepulse Please support/shop her small business: https://roseshealinggarden.com/ Thank you so much again Josie(can't wait to read your book) and thank you always warriors xoxo