Hello warriors, I am back! After taking a hiatus this summer, I am feeling better and inspired to want to write.
I am sure we have all heard the phrases: “The sky is the limit” and “Never settle” but sometimes we aren’t even aware of when we are settling or how unhappy we are until we are forced to move on from a particular person or situation that is no longer positive or serving us.
Staying in something longer than we should actually hurts us more in the long run than anything.
I have been guilty of this many times throughout my life. I think this started when I was younger. I worked really hard in elementary and high school but could’ve done better. Same thing with college as well. When suffering from mental health issues, every day or even every hour looks and feels different. Sometimes the bare minimum is all we can do just to get through it and survive.
When being in survival/flight or fight mode for so long, you don’t even notice patterns or that greater things are out there because it just feels “normal” and a way to cope.
Since my official diagnosis of PMDD in August 2020, I have been practicing more self-care and self-love. This is when I noticed a pattern in my relationships and professional life as well.
Settling for the bare minimum with past friendships and relationships as well as giving so many chances until I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained has been a pattern of mine I am slowly breaking.
I also realized this through self-reflection and healing via therapy over the past year and a half as well. I am still not too sure why I have done this. It can be a lack of boundaries, self-worth, and love from past trauma, and/ or being too nice and forgiving to a fault.
This past summer, I experienced the same thing with a job I was in for about two years. So much changed in the job as far as management, duties, policies, etc. It just wasn’t making me happy nor was what I saw myself doing as a career at all anymore.
Due to not wanting to leave just yet and giving things a chance, my mental health was declining day by day as well as my anxiety, PMDD, depression, mood swings, and suicidal thoughts.
Feeling stuck and hopeless and not even excited to wake up to start the day or for what the future holds is a very scary and depressing feeling at 30 years old(going on 31)
Something had to give and I knew it couldn’t continue a minute longer.
I made the difficult decision to resign from my position about a month ago. Although it was scary and I didn’t have another job lined up, it just had to be done.
Staying in something that you know is not going to work or is a dead end is only hurting you. We only have one life to live. We can’t let other factors such as outside opinions or what we think we should be doing sway us although it isn’t easy at all.
My mental health is still up and down since leaving and navigating the next steps and where I want to go next in my career but I am 100% better off than being somewhere that was making me feel so down and miserable.
I am at a turning and transitional point in my life where I truly want and need better for myself. When it comes to relationships, as women, we have to believe in ourselves and know what we bring to the table as well.
Some days are easier than others. It’s scary not knowing what’s going to happen next or where I will end up, but I am trying to keep an open mind and positive attitude as I go through this new chapter in my life.
Great things take time and difficult decisions often lead to beautiful destinations!
Thank you for all of the continued support warriors. Please be sure to comment, share, and subscribe